The Only Ones on Earth

KATE Twat. MICHAEL Tart. KATE Eejit. MICHAEL Eejit. KATE Protestant. MICHAEL Tell me again how I’m wrong. KATE You’re uncompromising. You lack diplomacy. MICHAEL Hothead. KATE Aye. Hotheaded. And a twat. MICHAEL Why does that sound so good? Say it again. KATE Twat. MICHAEL Your terms of endearment are killing me. KATE Eejit. MICHAEL Cath’lic. KATE Philistine. Idealist. MICHAEL Radical. KATE Romantic. MICHAEL I love ya. KATE Shut your face. MICHAEL Say it to me. Say “I love ya.” KATE I live in Derry. I work in a pub. And I want to be voted into Parliament. MICHAEL And you’re a woman. I love ya. KATE Add it to the list. MICHAEL And your lists. I love ya, love ya, say it to me. KATE It isn’t fair. You can’t say that kind of thing. MICHAEL You mean I can’t say it to you. KATE Ay. Who else you gonna say it to? MICHAEL I love ya. KATE I should be getting back to work. MICHAEL At 4 o’clock in the morning? KATE Soon enough. Another campaign brewing. And I gotta get with Hal. Not that he can do a damn thing. MICHAEL Can’t he? KATE He’s nobody. But he’s our nobody and he can get us to Colum. MICHAEL Colum? KATE Since when do you care? MICHAEL I care that you’re trying to get to some militant who might pack a better stomach than me. KATE Ay he does. His stomach packs six or more. MICHAEL Thanks. KATE Is that a touch of jealousy? MICHAEL What are you gonna do with the sod when you get your hands on him? KATE First I’ll communicate. Then we’ll negotiate. Maybe then I’ll show him my assets. And then, and only then, I’ll… …ask him to stop bombing on election day. MICHAEL Hal can’t do that? KATE Not unless some UDF fucks assassinate Colum and Hal moves up in rank. MICHAEL It’s a mistake to be lying down with dogs, Kate. I’ve seen it before. KATE Oh have ya. When was that? MICHAEL Ancient history. It ends badly. KATE History doesn’t always repeat, Michael. MICHAEL Say my name again. KATE Michael. MICHAEL It sounds different when you say it. KATE Fecking romantic. MICHAEL Here *you* are – holding on for dear life to someone you can’t have. KATE Who says I can’t have ya? MICHAEL None other than you. KATE Well I can’t. MICHAEL I know it. KATE I can’t. MICHAEL I’d make an honest woman of ya. KATE I want to but I can’t so. MICHAEL Ay. KATE No one can know. MICHAEL No one can know. But wouldn’t it be nice, Kate? Wouldn’t it be grand? A brand new Ireland Where a lad can love a lass Where a Protestant says I love ya And the Cath’lic loves him back They shack up somewhere In a little two-room flat And they don’t know what it means to live in sin. And in a brand new Ireland That sinning, Cath’lic, brilliant, lovely lass Would run for President KATE And win. Not that I could. There’s no president in Norn Iron. MICHAEL Pretend. KATE There’s religion. No families. MICHAEL No politics at all. KATE No empires. MICHAEL All alone. KATE Silence. We’ll pretend that we’re the only ones on earth And the streets are bare. All is quiet. We can go out in the world without a care. No one’s there to see. BOTH So pretend that we’re the only ones on earth. It’s just you and me On an island. And the troubles melt away just like the dawn. All gone. MICHAEL Nothing. KATE Nothing. MICHAEL Silence. KATE Silence. MICHAEL All alone KATE No one knows. MICHAEL Just you. KATE Just me Laughing MICHAEL Fighting KATE Kissing MICHAEL Kissing KATE Lying here MICHAEL With you near KATE Always MICHAEL Always BOTH Home. MICHAEL And it feels like we’re the only ones on earth. KATE And it feels like we’re the only ones on earth. MICHAEL For a little while BOTH In the moonlight. But a new day never dawns When night comes to an end. And so, we know It’s all pretend. MICHAEL Promise me. Promise me that no matter how we fight, no matter what happens here. Promise me you know I love you. That’s the truth. KATE It’s hard to miss, Michael. It’s not like you’re the strong silent type. MICHAEL Promise, Kate. KATE Promise.My name sounds different when you say it too. MICHAEL No it doesn’t. KATE The A’s all different. MICHAEL Kate. KATE Mmm. Hearing things, I suppose. I gotta shove off. MICHAEL Don’t go. KATE Work. MICHAEL How many mornings like this do you get? KATE How many chances do you get to change the world? MICHAEL Romantic. KATE I’ll see you in the office. MICHAEL I’ll unbutton your blouse with my eyes. Stay. KATE No. MICHAEL *(British accent)*: I have what you need. Right. I’ll be there. Straight away.